Coping with Grief Over the Holiday Season

By: Les Fee
Wednesday, December 21, 2016

When it comes to grieving, the holidays seem to be the most difficult time of the year. They are filled with memories, family and friend gatherings, and traditions that serve as a constant reminder of those who have passed. It is important to remember the happiness before grief, and try to the best of your ability to enjoy the present. Grief can be an all encompassing feeling that can take over, but remember those that are with you now while keeping those who have passed in your mind. Grieving has no timeline, allow yourself time to heal but remember the happiness associated with the holidays. Within this article, I will explain three ways to help you get through the holidays, while dealing with grief.

 

Understand that it does get Easier

The first step for helping you through the holidays is that you must remember that as each day passes by it will lessen the pain each day. It may never be easy, but as each day goes on you will find more happy memories and thoughts that will get you through the days. You must accept that you need time to grieve, it will be hard and it will take time, but rely on those closest to you for support. You will start seeing the good in each day and focus on that. Eventually, you will smile and think of those you have lost, maybe with a twinge of hurt, but happiness will overcome. It's similar to the saying “there is always a light at the end of the tunnel”, its the same with your grief, when you are ready you will find your light. But it can only happen when you are finally ready.

 


Avoid Avoidance 

During the holidays many people that are grieving will avoid being around family and friends or just stop the holidays in general because memories and traditions are too painful. However, it is important to continue on with those traditions because they were something that your loved ones enjoyed and should bring happiness to you as well. It is a ways to connect and remind yourself of those who have passed while learning ways to adapt them to your new life. It is important that you adapt those traditions to a way for you, for example if you always decorated your tree with your loved one on December 1st, why not continue that tradition but try to include your biggest support systems in this tradition with you to help you. Do not forget that it is okay to cry, it is okay to be sad, but it is a process of continuing your life. Your loved one would want you to continue, to smile, but most importantly remember them through this process.

 


Rely on your support System

During the grieving process, people sometimes think that they are weak by having to rely on those around them to help. Especially during the holidays, you may think that your friends and family have your own traditions, and you don’t want to be a bother, but they are there to help. Many people grieving, tend to isolate themselves during the holidays, but it is vital to surround yourself with love and support to remind yourself of love and happiness. Invite your friends and family over for drinks and dinner over the holidays, fill your home with music, love and laughter. Always remember that you have someone there to talk too and guide you through the process. There is no timeline for your grief, but it is in your control to seek guidance and focus on the present, while positively remembering the past.

During this holiday season, or at anytime, if you feel you would like to talk to someone about what you are going through please contact us and we will help you during your difficult time

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